i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
