worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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