doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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