did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
