Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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