I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
