You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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