my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
