how can u be prego again
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
