shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
