I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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