Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
