got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
