no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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