Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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