I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
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About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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