I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
