You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
