her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
