WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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