Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
