i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
