Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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