operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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