I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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