id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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