just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
