well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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