you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
