If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
