i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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