Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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