careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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