i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
