that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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