i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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