I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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