you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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