Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
