Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
