went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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