Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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