I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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