allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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