in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
