She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
