Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

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  (314): totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came. http://tfl.nu/jfvh
  Replies (17) Good night (6847) Bad night (660)
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  (818): View more from California

  Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?

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  (818): Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales? http://tfl.nu/gvx1
  Replies (30) Good night (6892) Bad night (877)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...

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  (828): Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was... http://tfl.nu/29hb
  Replies (31) Good night (4360) Bad night (1590)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog

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  (561): I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog http://tfl.nu/8q9l
  Replies (34) Good night (5503) Bad night (844)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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  (903): Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me http://tfl.nu/adub
  Replies (6) Good night (4157) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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  (360): Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover. http://tfl.nu/pu5x
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (1422)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

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  (253): at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito? http://tfl.nu/ycrz
  Replies (4) Good night (1351) Bad night (677)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.

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  (910): I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend. http://tfl.nu/txzp
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (1015)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.

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  (847): I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year. http://tfl.nu/4k22
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit

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  (740): I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit http://tfl.nu/8mkh
  Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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  (973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43
  Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (385)
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  (914): View more from New York

  low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..

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  (914): low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen.. http://tfl.nu/o2yv
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (639)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly

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  (574): Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly http://tfl.nu/0015
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (382)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.

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  (505): I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp. http://tfl.nu/vrdl
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine

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  (615): Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine http://tfl.nu/rjex
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (574)

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