Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
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He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.