Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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