Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

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  (804): please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash. http://tfl.nu/od6g
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (3019)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

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  (484): New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport http://tfl.nu/5bf4
  Replies (40) Good night (4071) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

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  (973): gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops. http://tfl.nu/1v8v
  Replies (37) Good night (8916) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side

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  (918): Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side http://tfl.nu/owir
  Replies (24) Good night (1382) Bad night (7723)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.

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  (202): you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry. http://tfl.nu/e7cu
  Replies (9) Good night (7404) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.

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  (503): I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over. http://tfl.nu/8vsu
  Replies (5) Good night (1035) Bad night (2685)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.

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  (714): my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused. http://tfl.nu/3089
  Replies (14) Good night (2654) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (+90): View more from Turkey

  I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.

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  (+90): I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later. http://tfl.nu/oo4d
  Replies (7) Good night (571) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.

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  (715): I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone. http://tfl.nu/jgmj
  Replies (21) Good night (2650) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.

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  (702): Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad. http://tfl.nu/3xek
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.

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  (214): Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask. http://tfl.nu/3wq6
  Replies (7) Good night (1574) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.

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  (773): who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this. http://tfl.nu/j8g2
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.

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  (570): They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America. http://tfl.nu/4pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (591) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.

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  (404): Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine. http://tfl.nu/q9px
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.

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  (908): She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid. http://tfl.nu/br32
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (257)

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