i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
