Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
  Replies (214) Good night (51990) Bad night (2880)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.

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  (513): just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned. http://tfl.nu/25dz
  Replies (36) Good night (4927) Bad night (683)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.

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  (952): i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right. http://tfl.nu/wcm0
  Replies (46) Good night (5592) Bad night (2090)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  it glows. i had to have it.

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  (904): it glows. i had to have it. http://tfl.nu/ygwq
  Replies (14) Good night (5511) Bad night (1019)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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  (610): I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible. http://tfl.nu/74be
  Replies (9) Good night (4263) Bad night (953)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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  (306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2
  Replies (15) Good night (5751) Bad night (1181)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?

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  (518): Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation? http://tfl.nu/dtaz
  Replies (11) Good night (2237) Bad night (2447)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.

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  (808): Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry. http://tfl.nu/7pno
  Replies (4) Good night (2609) Bad night (724)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order

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  (503): There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order http://tfl.nu/v9bj
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (1704)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.

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  (210): Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors. http://tfl.nu/4w9v
  Replies (20) Good night (3656) Bad night (1960)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.

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  (+61): He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him. http://tfl.nu/9g1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3051) Bad night (554)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.

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  (757): She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza. http://tfl.nu/cuy7
  Replies (8) Good night (1436) Bad night (355)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.

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  (912): If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight. http://tfl.nu/iyrl
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (413)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"

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  (61): When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town" http://tfl.nu/opr7
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (290)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions

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  (386): make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions http://tfl.nu/o45u
  Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (228)

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