Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
