its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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