hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
