My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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