So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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