dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize