at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
