you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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