I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
