I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
