whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
