After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
