trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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