'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I won't apologize to a one balled man
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
