i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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