I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
