you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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