I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
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