Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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