I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
